I quit!
by Nagiru
Summary: ... if only Snape could actually quit, he would be damn glad about it. (OR: Severus Snape made many bad choices in his life. Becoming a teacher certainly takes the prize.)


**Prompt 227:** Why would a teacher contemplate a change in career?

 **Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and the characters present do not belong to me. This is but a work of fiction created to amuse myself in a time of boredom.

 **Warnings:** Cursing, crack-y. Mentions (spoilers?) of 2nd year of Hogwarts; nothing on 3rd year (which is when this was probably located). Cross-posted on AO3.

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Honestly. Severus Snape didn't know why he even stayed at this stupid school. He would be able to spy on Dumbledore at a couple of other places, really, so Voldemort shouldn't _need_ him there... And he could keep going to the Order meetings, anywhere he worked. He should just argue with (both) his "Masters" and manage to find a way to run. Far, far away.

To a place he never more had to see Harry _bloody_ Potter, Hermione know-it-all Granger, Ronald (the sixth of _way too many_ ) Weasley, or Neville walking-disaster Longbottom.

He shuddered just thinking about them. They were the _worst_ students a teacher could have. He swore Dumbledore had done it on purpose! Putting them all together, he must have talked the Hat into it! Damned old coot. Always meddling with everyone's life, playing his damned games. Severus knew Dumbledore was insane, but he did not wish to become insane as well. He already had to deal with both Dumbledore and the Dark Lord way too much. Losing his sanity would do him no good.

Unfortunately, Dumbledore didn't realize it. And, when Severus once tried to talk him into suspending one of his beloved Gryffindors after a way too dangerous (and reckless) "adventure"... _"Now, my boy, you surely don't mean it. If you think they're in danger here, you wouldn't want them out there, would you?"_ Damned twinkle, as well! Damned goat-man, really.

Sometimes, Severus just wished he could end Dumbledore right where he stood. It would do the world some good.

But then, the Wizarding World would be stuck with the Dark Lord Voldemort, the Boy-Who-Lived (to bother Severus, he was sure) Harry Potter, and dunderheads like _Longbottom_ and _Weasley_.

Even so, scowling down at parchments like these — really, he had asked for four foot, was that so difficult to understand? Not two, Mr. Longbottom, not _eight_ Ms. Granger, but _four_! —, Severus wished he could resign. And run far, far away from here. Somewhere the Dark Mark meant nothing, and he could be a simplistic Potion's Master. Not tied to students too stupid for their own good that wouldn't be able to brew a decent potion to save their own lives!

"Stupid Gryffindors and their incompetency on the finest arts of potion's brewing!" he growled softly, marking another P for Longbottom. "If Mr. Longbottom shows up to the next class, he's starting with negative points!" And stupid Dumbledore, again. Of course.

When he reached Potter's paper, he was almost surprised; it had the right length, and his chicken scratch wasn't _as bad_ as it usually was... Still, Severus took points out already, muttering about inability of writing decently; maybe it was hereditary. He was almost sure James Potter had the same terrible writing as his arrogant son.

After reading it, however, Severus was quite ready to hex Potter into oblivion. If only Dumbledore hadn't prohibited him to maiming the students... Still, he could send him to detention. And take more points from Gryffindor. One bad student, punish the House. House loyalty, after all.

"I'm surprised the other Gryffindors haven't locked Potter away never to return yet. They would all be better without him. Arrogant, reckless brat. Always rushing into things like there's no consequence to be felt! Just like his father!" Severus kept muttering while he tried to glare Potter's paper into bursting in flames. Maybe he could _incendio_ it and make the world a favor. Severus would never understand how Lily could have chosen James Potter, and the child was just like the father. Insupportable.

Merlin! If only Draco could beat Ms. Granger on his grades, at least... But no. No, not even that. No, Gryffindors had to make a scene in _everything_ they did. Either they were the worst, or they found other ways to make his life hell.

"Stupid muggleborn. A genius, just like Lily." He grumbled annoyed. He hated it; why was he faced with the worst of memories all the time? The face of the man who tormented him and the brain of the woman he betrayed — with the worst of Gryffindor's attached to it. Severus was quite surprised the third year even survived until this long.

"And Dumbledore!" — in the end, every single problem could be led to Dumbledore. Old goat-faced coot with too many _bloody names_. "Supporting their behavior! Giving them _points_ and praises. As if they shouldn't face several detentions and owled home! Oh, but a Howler would them all good... But then, who would Howl the bloody savior? Golden Boy..."

Severus Snape would never understand how Potter's class survived this long, with Potter's suicidal streak (hunting Voldemort to get the Philosopher's Stone? Flying to Hogwarts in an _enchanted muggle car_ over the Muggle World? _Facing a Basilisk?_ ), Dumbledore's blindness and Longbottom's disasters (which were in a whole new level. That one could explode any potion, even those that involved no volatile ingredients!), but the true mystery was how long _he_ would keep teaching.

Really. If he could only resign...


End file.
